We all have fears. Fear is a natural survival mechanism, which alerts us to a danger, real or imagined, and which in turn allows us to be attentive to what interests us to “control”, protect ourselves, take care of ourselves… However, not all fears are adaptive, logical or rational. Everything will depend on whether or not that fear is helping us to avoid danger, or rather what it does is block us from acting.
One of these fears, suffered by many people, is the fear of being wrong. A fairly “normal” fear, by the way, in a society that extols success above all else as something essential to “fight” for and that leaves no room for failure.
We can be afraid of making mistakes in multiple areas of our lives: in the relationship, at work, in studies, when making daily decisions. Depending on the degree of that fear, our limitation will be greater or less. But if that fear paralyzes you or causes you discomfort, we encourage you to learn about the causes that could explain it, its consequences, and some useful keys to overcome these fears.
Main causes of fear of being wrong
Some of the most common causes behind the fear of being wrong are:
Fears and personal insecurity
Personal insecurity is one of the main causes of fear of being wrong. This is defined as little confidence in oneself, in our abilities and resources, in everything we are worth… And it is closely linked to self-esteem (if security is good, self-esteem too and vice versa).
Personal insecurity, in turn, is nourished by a deeper fear: the fear of not being able to manage the error once it occurs (if it occurs), of not knowing how to deal with the new situation. Many times this fear is irrational, and is based on the false belief that we do not have the necessary skills to manage our own conflicts.
Fear of failure
After the fear of being wrong, there is also a fear of failure. That is a cognitive distortion that many people have, which is based on generalization: they understand the error as an absolute failure, when it does not have to be that way. Because, is being wrong the same as “failing”? What does it mean to fail, really? Ask yourself what it means to be wrong when you suffer from this fear. Is it really that serious? Would it be something irreparable, irreversible?
We live in a society that extols the value of success above many other things, and our education is greatly influenced by all of this; that’s why we fear failure so much, because it seems to us something inconceivable, something to “fear”, and something that devaluesus as people. But here we have to keep two things in mind: being wrong is not the same as failing and even if you failed, failure is not a full stop, it is a full stop that gives us the opportunity to follow another path, to open other doors.
Irrational beliefs
Closely related to the previous points, behind the fear of being wrong, there is also, on many occasions, the belief that we are incapable of assuming our mistakes. We really believe ourselves incapable. Of course, it is a disability that can be reversed, but if we believe that we will not know how to face our mistakes, it is because we will not know how to face them (not because we think so, but because we will act based on that belief).
There is a pretty clear phrase that sums up this idea: “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” And it is that, our beliefs have a lot of power! Both as for well and for worse. That’s why it’s so important to have the flexibility to change them (or ask for professional help if we feel we need it).
Intolerance of discomfort
Another cause behind the fear of being wrong is intolerance to discomfort. That discomfort that arises when we make a mistake, that feeling of dissatisfaction, of not having done things right… often fueled by the fear of being judged or ridiculed.
And since we don’t tolerate that uncomfortable feeling, we want to avoid it; and as a protection mechanism, an “alert” (“watch out, make no mistake, you’ll have a hard time later!”), that fear of making a mistake appears.
4 consequences of being afraid of being wrong
What are the consequences of being afraid of being wrong? In this article we focus on the negative consequences, although, of course, having this fear, if it is mild, can also generate some benefit (for example, greater reflection and good sense when making decisions). But let’s go with its less beneficial consequences:
1 Stay in the comfort zone
One of the first consequences of the fear of being wrong is that it makes it difficult for us to leave our comfort zone. The comfort zone is the one in which we feel safe, where we have everything under control.
And of course, acting, moving from the site, carries risks. What happen? That if I fear that possible mistake so much, I will never get out of that area. But neither will I do not know other realities nor will I enrich myself with success and error.
2 Prevents us from making decisions
Another of the consequences of the fear of being wrong is that it limits us when making decisions. Thus, we are so afraid of being wrong that we do not directly do anything, we do not decide. But of course, if we don’t decide, we don’t move, we don’t move forward either… And that, after all, implies a blockade.
3 Prevents us from exploring new possibilities
When we make decisions, we are faced with the possibility of enriching ourselves with new experiences, new realities, new paths. We move, we take action, we change our landscape and horizon.
For this reason, the direct effect of not making decisions (because of that fear of being wrong) is that we cannot access new realities and obtain new learning that might provide us with valuable things.
4 Limits our learning
Related to the previous point, another of the direct consequences of the fear of being wrong and of the subsequent non-decision making, is that we limit our learning.
And we not only limit it because we do not know new realities (which would come if we risked acting, living), but also because we cannot learn from our mistakes, another great source of learning (because of course, if we do nothing, we cannot be wrong either.).
How to face the fear of being wrong?
And you, do you feel that you are afraid of being wrong? Is it a small or bigger fear? Does it interfere with your life or is it just there as something “annoying”? Eye! As we have said, being afraid of being wrong is totally normal. And it doesn’t have to be negative; in fact, that prudence that hides behind fear can also help us to act more sensibly many times.
However, it also has negative effects, as we have seen. The key? Allowing ourselves to feel that fear, listen to it and understand it but not let it stay. Ask us what it is based on (if it is a realistic fear or not), give it space to leave when it has fulfilled its function (for example, learn to be more careful, or to reflect on things more), and above all, move on! Into action!
If you see that it is difficult for you, start with small decisions that scare you, and gradually increase the difficulty. And above all, remember that to lose the fear of being wrong, the best thing is, precisely, to be wrong!