From “I’m ashamed to talk to strangers” to “I prefer to stay at home so I don’t have to face someone I don’t know”. The line between shyness and social phobia is very fine, but the consequences are very difAferent. Understanding the limits of one and the other is essential to address the problem effectively.
Below we give you the keys to differentiate if it is social phobia or shyness that makes it difficult or prevents the relationship with other people.
Is it social phobia or shyness?
The main characteristic of shyness is social inhibition, something that we also find in social phobia, but very accentuated. The difference between the two is a difference of degree. And while most cases of shyness overcome through your own efforts, social phobia requires medical treatment.
What is shyness?
Shyness is a characteristic of a person’s way of being. This personality trait makes it more difficult to make friends, causes certain nerves when expressing you in front of other people, makes social relationships difficult… A shy person is usually quiet, as they prefer to keep their opinions to themselves for fear of being judged.
Shyness is very common in society and as long as you know how to control it, it is not a serious problem. This feature of the way of being can occur at different levels. Everyone, in one way or another, is a little embarrassed in certain circumstances. It is normal, for example, to feel a little self-conscious in a meeting with all the heads of your company or to get nervous when presenting your final degree project.
However, as, shy people find it more and more difficult to relate to the environment around them. They feel that the whole world is watching them, they think they are going to do something wrong, they think that others are only going to look at their defects… And the more steps we climb, the closer we are to social phobia.
Shyness becomes social phobia when the person’s life is totally limited by the fear of interacting with other people.
Social phobia or social anxiety
Unlike shyness, socialist a disorder that needs the help of a specialist to overcome. Anxiety, social phobia and shyness become allies to harm the lives of all those shy people who do not dare to face certain social situations. Fear comes to accompany these three companions and paralyzes the person who suffers from it.
A person suffering from severe social anxiety will stop going out to avoid having to face unknown people. He prefers to stay at home because of the possibility that someone might sit next to her on the bus that a stranger might ask him the time that he might be introduced to a stranger…
Relating to other people causes this person great anxiety: panic attacks, nausea, dizziness, increased sweating, increased heart rate reaching tachycardia… In the case of social phobia, the symptoms become physical. Unlike a shy person, who only has a hard time at specific times, the suffering of a patient with thesis constant? It is an irrational and excessive fear, which does not respond to any logical argument, but which causes more than nervousness to the person who suffers from this phobic disorder.
And the consequence of all this is very dangerous: social isolation. A patient with social phobia will lose friends, her family ties will weaken, she will lose job opportunities, and her health could be at risk due to her fear of going to a hospital…
Do you have a solution?
Yes, both shyness and social phobia have a solution. But for this the first thing is to be aware that there is a problem that needs a solution. Making a self-diagnosis can be complicated, since seeing the symptoms in oneself objectively, without being influenced by the fear that paralyzes us, is very difficult. Therefore, it is advisable to go to an expert to evaluate each case.
How to overcome shyness?
Shyness can be controlled and overcome so that it does not cause more serious problems. Knowing how to manage it is important so that it does not lead to a social phobia. Help from a psychologist or therapist is very helpful, but you can cope with it yourself.
To stop shy, you need to recognize yourself as such and discover the situations that accentuate your shyness. You face an enemy face to face, not avoiding it, so don’t hesitate to look for that inner strength that we all have to face difficult situations, putting your shyness to the test. There is no need to fear failure.
To overcome shyness, you have to make a change in your mentality and eliminate all the negative thoughts that assault your mind when you are around other people. You have to learn to love yourself so as not to be your own enemy; there is no reason to be so hard on yourself.
When shyness is caused by the fear of having a conversation with another person, you can write a list of topics that you could talk about. It is also interesting to write how the talk could be in order to be prepared. Shyness also disappears with practice: get used to speaking in front of other people, go to meetings where you can learn to make new friends. Every day, face a small fear.
Social phobia requires treatment
Unlike shyness, social phobia does need treatment, like any other phobic disorder. Going to the consultation of a mental health specialist will prevent suffering and the problem from getting worse.
First of all, this expert will try to make an accurate diagnosis adjusted to reality. To do this, he will ask questions that must be answered in a very sincere way. Once he knows the case well, he will be able to establish its severity, its symptoms and the most effective treatment.
Social phobia is usually treated through cognitive the objective of this is to change the way of thinking of the person with a phobia so that they react differently when they are in front of other people. It seeks to exchange negative thoughts for others that do not cause anxiety. As the patient progresses, he will learn different social skills so that it does not cost him so much to function. In any case, relaxation techniques are effective in controlling anxiety.
To support this therapy, the expert may recommend some type of medication such as anxiolytics or antidepressants. They should always be taken under the prescription of a specialist.